joy formula: creativity + kindness = JOY
my ❤ becky j suzik
joy formula: creativity + kindness = JOY
my ❤ becky j suzik
“There’s are only two stories: a man goes on a quest, a stranger comes to town.” — John Gardner
Before I left for Seattle, I got this idea I couldn’t shake: I wanted to spend 24 hours in Seattle without money. A few years ago I wrote about Heidemarie Schwermer’s commitment to living without money . I had recently revisited her story with my friends who talk about gift economy on a regular basis.
Perhaps this was idealistic. But on the other hand, I was really committed to this. I was going to live through the consequences of my decision, no matter what.
My hotel accommodations were covered–thanks to my program director–for all but the first night of my time in Seattle. I investigated the same hotel for one night and it was a gazillion dollars… money I didn’t have. So this thought came up: I should commit to giftivism for 24 hours and see what connections I could make with Seattleites and find out how far I could push myself out of my comfort zone. Could I depend on kindness and our connection to take care of me? Not mooching, but seeking a deeper connection with people.
I made up my mind that when I arrived in Seattle, I’d check my suitcase a the hotel Concierge and then hoof around with a backpack for 24 hours, seeking legal ways to be of service that hopefully would realize my basic needs…. without depending on money. I thought about it deeply: I had a lot of ghosts about this, but dug my spiritual heels in. I was prepared to go without, if it unfolded that way.
I wanted to live in Give Economy for 24 hours. I did not want to use money–not particularly because I didn’t have it, because I have a credit card, but because I am committed to living with a deeper awareness of money, and cultivating a healthier relationship with it than I did the first 40+ years of my life, so far.
In our collective conscious and culture right now, money promotes a gross untruth: That we are NOT connected to or dependent on each other.
If I arrived in Seattle and used money I could have everything I needed, all tidy and comfortable, an experience to fit my needs and expectations. But NOT using money meant that I lose control of all of that, and my experience of Seattle would be limited to my own creativity and connections with people.
I believe human beings–ALL OF US–are connected and dependent on each other. Money offers this false notion –a false sense of security that we can take care of ourselves, by ourselves. To a certain extent money sterilizes our connections with people. Money keeps us nice, transactional and quaint.
Now I’m not saying all money is always used this way, but typically when I travel, that is how I use it: to organize my experience as close to my expectations and needs as possible, thus limiting the depths of connection with people. Removing money got rid of the safety nets and opened me up to new people in extraordinary ways.
As I told a few friends about this, KOOKOO BIRD noises were swirling as I spoke. You guys were UBER concerned and fearful for my safety! I didn’t feel worried at all. I put myself in other people’s shoes: If someone was committed to doing what I wanted to do, how would I be able to help them?!
I promised my friends, no back-alley Mother Teresa-inspired she-roics. I was hoping I’d get to Seattle and work my way around the hotel and see who I could meet who might need my help with the next something. I figured if I helped, maybe they would buy me a cup of yummoh Seattle coffee, or lunch or let me sleep on their couch. That was my plan.
Well, I am grateful to stay I DID live in gift economy for 24 hours, but not the way I planned. Right before I left Raleigh, a friend of mine got in touch with her brother and his wife, residents of Northern Seattle–Shoreline to be exact. She told them my plans, and they said they would like to put me up for a night. And pick me up from the airport.
So my idea of how I would have to explain gift economy went out the window.
I accepted their kindness… the kindness of strangers.
It was really hard to let go of control. I had thoughts like, they must think I am a Mooch! Like I am a taker and user, and looking for a free ride-ugly thoughts that when I checked in with my heart I knew these were not true.
I texted a photo of me while I was waiting outside of Baggage Claim. I hoped my flight’s late arrival was not inconvenient to them. Gulp. It was hard. Was I imposing?
Then they found me. Big smile and handshake, and the car door opened. I was now sitting in the back seat of these two very kind strangers’ car. And woh, now they are now driving me–a stranger–and graciously pointing out different things on the rainy Seattle skyline.
I thanked them for their kindness and for hosting me that night. The man–whose name I won’t use because I didn’t ask permission–said, “You can stay with us on one condition.” I said, “Ok, what is that?!” He said, “You have to allow us to pay for everything!”
Double gulp. Holy Shmoly. Ok…. where is the eject button? I need to get off this ride! Now, not only are they putting me up, but now they are taking me out to dinner (well lunch by their time). Allowing such magnitude of kindness to be gifted to me was really hard. But I needed them.
We talked about this thing called kindness and shared stories about how the hardest kindnesses are the ones we must receive. They concurred….and laughed as they paid for my delicious seaside lunch.
After lunch, we arrived to their lovely home and they showed me my delightful room. I met their cat, who was rather put out by my presences, as he preferred MY room to all others, but he didn’t like me, and was not pretending anything. My new friends made some tea. We sat and talked for hours. I was mega jetlagged, but being a storyteller, I wanted to make sure I shared my heart with them and perhaps a few good stories. Perhaps they might enjoy my visit and not feel burdened by my presence.
We talked. We laughed. We connected. They told me wondrous stories about their family, their world travels, their lives in Seattle. And now their lives as retirees.
The next day they took me to see the Ballard Locks, where the boats and ships come through the canal to switch bodies of water. It was really beautiful.
And here is a picture of my new friends, from behind.
After the Locks we went to lunch and they again treated me to Vietnamese Pho–pronounced Fuhhh.
Yuuuuuuhmmmm! They took my photo 🙂
They made me laugh as they told me about another pho restaurant called Pho King! LOL. Remember? it’s pronounced Fuhhhh.
We had a wonderful 24 hours together. I left them a little Joybird card and little art tile I made, small tokens of my HUGE gratitude.
I was inspired by their gentle, constant kindness. I enjoyed being with them. I was grateful to them. I also thanked my EGO for letting go of control so I could share a deeper connection with two wonderful human beings. I was surprised this experiment in gift economy wasn’t difficult or tough on me–well except to my ego. They taught me that an experience does not have to be difficult in gift economy to be authentic and meaningful.
I am so blessed to have two new friends.
Thank you for reading my Mindpebbles. I will continue panning my memories for the brightest pebbles of truth and beauty…. there are quite a few.
so much love,
❤ dear ones,
Seattle (above). Walking out of Pike Place, just down the street … then this beauty happened!
❤ glory be!
all my love,
I was blessed to travel to Seattle last week for my new work with Guardian ad Litem, an important program across NC and the entire country training volunteers to be advocates for children in foster care.
Like pebbles, my mind keeps tumbling and rubbing thoughts and memories around the whole trip, which truly was incredible. Thought it might be fun to share a few of my polished stones with you.
I saw a man walking with a giant sign that read “I am Muslim, ask me anything.”
Despite my love of photographing everything that moves me, the man’s presence, conviction and intention for deeper connection with strangers consumed me. I didn’t lift my camera. As he walked by me, I thanked him.
WE the People need each other, all of every one of us. We each have something meaningful to give. Together we are stronger and have greater possibilities because we are all here, alive, now.
We the People can make decisions that place and activate love over fear.
We the People can commit to reducing consumption of oil (i.e. carpooling, limiting/consolidating convenience driven car trips) –and ultimately evolve from oil towards bio-remediative sources of fuel helping the environment instead of depleting and contaminating it.
We the People can support the beliefs of our Native American brothers and sisters. We can apologize for the atrocious ways of our ancestors.
We the People in this present moment, can apologize for the past and the painful Holocaust that happened in the making of this Country.
We the People can apologize to our African American brothers and sisters for the cruel and demeaning ways of our ancestors. We can hold gratitude to all those who suffered and those who lost their lives. We can learn from our past and not repeat it.
We the People can apologize for the detrimental painful patterns of separatist behavior that still happens and oppresses all human beings, keeping us from our potential.
We the People can honor sacred burial grounds of all people. We can regard these lands with reverence regardless of our personal religious beliefs or our personal oil-consumption patterns/needs.
We the People can listen and respect opinions than differ from our own.
We the People can prioritize human lives, dignity and values over monetary profit.
We the People can honor, respect and acknowledge the Earth and the bountiful–yet finite–gifts she gives.
We the People can choose to no longer allow Pipelines to cut through our country, and propagate the old oil-driven story of US, We can demand companies expand and employ people and technologies that will help–not hurt–the environment and ultimately us humans.
We the People have the power to change our story and begin a new one that honors all people and the beautiful planet we are connected with and bound to.
We the People can regard human beings as potential medicine for the problems of our planet, while accepting culpability, and learning from our past.
We the People can believe that each of us has gifts to give in our lifetimes, important gifts that are needed and will make a difference.
We the People can believe there is a better way, and that NOW is the time for us to explore it together, in peace, with loving hearts listening ears, and not fists or force.
We the People are intelligent, capable and strong enough to hold the pain of not having all the answers, while simultaneously trusting the answers shall emerge and serve.
We the People can live forward in ways that do not inflict physical pain, intentional suffering, harm or death to any human.
We the People of this Earth can believe that together we can co-create the solutions we so desperately need and deserve.
amen. it is so.
I love all you people! Sharing these thoughts knowing this list is incomplete. These words come from my heart and prayers with my great love and hope for us… for humanity. I certainly cannot speak as “We the people”, but–in marrying my imaginings with my heart–I get energized to wonder what our world would be like, if we did indeed believe these as truths. I wonder… what would be possible for us? I also wonder, what are your “We the Peoples”?