blowin’ smoke

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dear ones,

There is so much more to my shadow than I can ever write about. Looking at my shadow–things hidden and things I choose to carry–I feel overwhelmed and grateful.

The truth of it is I you.

I how very much I need you and feel connected to you in lights and shadows and baggage. I love–and simultaneously feel really frustrated–by how consumed I am by multiple-muse-generated ideas about how we might could play and imagine and co-create and dance and write, sing, make and live our new story together. And yet all I can do is what is possible each 24 hours, every lunar cycle.

If time is my friend, why do I DAILY feel like I have so much more in me I was supposed to give?!

Pace myself, darling. Be kind to myself, dear love.

This month I received many gifts and lessons: endings and beginnings. I was reminded of the tremendous power one decision makes to our personal direction and narrative.

My heart remains flooded with ideas from the Appalachian State Expressive Arts Intensive that so many of you made possible for me … so many gifts (seeds) because of you. (I wish there were two of me so I could find time this summer to activate some ideas carving me out.)

But for now, my amazing children are out of school for our 5-week summer. I belong to them more than they EVER will belong to me. (Oh beloved Kahlil, your words become me.)

I send this flutter of words out like a me-shaped smoke signal, intending a giant virtual hug, to cheer YOU on in everything and in every way you are climbing up steep hills, and for every precious choice YOU make. We are connected. ♥

 my heart
bjs

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the f’ing hard work of being human

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After today’s old-story news, I’m up late, thinking and writing and thought I’d share a little. Thank you for gifting your gaze and presence here. I hope you feel my insomniac-acal love:

How we live and how we treat one another–especially those we disagree with or cannot relate to–is “the work” we must do and work HARD at to create the new world we believe in. It is fu*#ing HARD work, like this fern that embedded in the human-made stone step, finding/making a way to live/thrive within the system he sprouted upon… a Rock system seemingly designed to deter Fern.

Fern is not denying the rock: Fern is nestled and sustained by the rock that for a spell of time did not offer support or cracks for Fern to grow. But look at Fern now. Look at Rock. Hmmm.

There are so many cracks around us to thrive–so many opportunities for us to serve and love people who are suffering and hurting and fearful.

Some nights I cannot sleep because of my awareness of collective human pain and fear, and my heart wanting to love upon people and contribute somehow to healing.

Like tonight.

But for now, I say good night. I pray for our entire earth and our residents, our species, this country that I live in and love so specially. And tomorrow I will love on someone and find a way to reduce someone’s suffering–if only for a fleeting moment–because that is the only thing I can somewhat control–MY presence and MY actions.

nightynight dear one xo
bjs

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my driving questions

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dear ones,

Last week at a glance… in case you are interested to know… I spent a week at the Appalachian State Expressive Art Institute in the Blue Ridge Mountains, learning about creativity and play from some great teachers. Thoughts are bubbling up, so I wanted to share…..

My mind was overflowing with one-hundred-and-one stories: those of my easy-to-love loved ones, and stories of those I want and need to learn to love.

I drove myself up the mountain–a labyrinth-like-road–giggling to myself about the nervy, curvy road bends, and frightening myself with a few what-ifs.

I arrived at the top alone and unknown to join a group of 40+–each human offering a new-to-me-story that somehow now entwines with my own.

I stepped out of my life–up into the stratosphere–to focus on my own story, deepening my experience with and for the sacred work I feel a responsibility to.

Creativity and joy activism–what on Earth do these mean? What is possible for me to create and support and be connected to? What feels impossible, yet necessary? How can I serve with greater urgency, tenderness and love?

After four days carrying these focused questions in my heart and awareness, my body and spirit blown upon by the four directions… the answer?

Mmmm…. I still do not fully know. But whatever I am part of, I intend to remember to PLAY through to finding the answers and solutions our world so deservedly needs.

GROWN-UP PLAY is one of the most important things us grown ups can do for ourselves, for our children and for Mama Earth. Play is made of different energies than the problems we are facing right now… so let’s play, shall we?! When was the last time you played, dear one? If it’s been too long, be gentle with yourself. Perhaps start with a bottle of bubbles–a gateway joy device–an essential tool in the JOYFUeL playkit.

Wishing you love and a LOT of play, too!

bjs

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