i love our dirt

click below to hear my audio reading

i love our dirt
by becky j suzik

I fold the towels. I pair the socks. (I don’t fold underwear because that seems silly.)

I wash the fruit. I bake the biscuits.
I empty the dishwasher placing the knives that special secret way so the drawer doesn’t jam.
I close the cupboard door.
I push in the chair. I hang the coat.
I pick up a brown decaying leaf and throw it back outside.
I put the new toilet paper roll on the holder.

I pick up someone’s dirty sock.
I refill the water pitcher over and over because no one else seems to know my magic.

I don’t do any of this to be seen.
I don’t do these things to be known, acknowledged or witnessed.
I do these things over and over every single day for love.

With each and every tedious, repetitive– sometimes exhausting–motion I think and feel and know:
I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

I love our mess.
I love our dirt.
I love how things get used and need to be washed or replenished and put away.

I love the overfullness and emptiness of different spaces in our home.
I love how you live here with me, together in this communal shelter, our home.

And then by some miracle
–between the rotting leaf and the washing machine–
I steal a few minutes to write this down.

(Writing is a way I love myself.)

I love how words attempt to capture my enormous feelings,
and I love how I love these humans through countless acts of daily love,
ripples of my own attention.

in gratitude for all you do for love
~becky j suzik

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