dear ones, (I am reposting this from my other site, Joyfuel.) I am now creating audio recordings for each of my posts in order to make my posts more accessible, and to describe images in each post.) To listen to the audio recording of me reading this essay click audio button above. the world has […]
dear ones, for the first time in nine days i went to the grocery store. i had a heightened sense of awareness of how everywhere i touched or breathed might possibly contribute to the corona sadness. i was shopping with great intention, purpose and love for five at my house, for my parents, my […]
Audio description on youtube: dear one, when i started making art again and writing for my web site here i had to choose a name. i wanted a name to represent me differently, to remind me of the importance of owning how my posts might potentially ripple out into the world. one way of […]
dear ones, many years ago i was really sick. i had an illness that was never really diagnosed or named. my mental and physical unwellness disrupted every aspect of my life, my understanding of myself, my relationships with people, and my career. you might remember my six-word story: her personal earthquake reinvented her everything. well […]
“Only two things that money can’t buy and that’s love and homegrown tomatoes.” ~John Denver dear ones, for the past nine years, from the safety of our old and very broken system, I have practiced an even older system called gift economy (another description here gift economy ) for years i’ve offered my work as […]
dear ones, i’m having great difficulty alongside you (at the CDC-recommended potentially safe distance), about the condition of humanity right now. to honor and express my dismayhem, i’ve decided to be open about my internal struggles and more forthcoming with writings that have come to me… through me over the last few years; writings I […]
In reading this, I first thought about what a great experience one would have, being that light, sharing that LIGHT with others. But then I thought, who is it that would be enjoying that experience? Who’s LIGHT is that?
We hear things all the time about giving being the most rewarding thing one can do, but I think it is rewarding in that it separates from that ego mentality. So, if I think I will give because of the reward experience, am I really giving?
The LIGHT is the reward, and it’s incredible. But as soon as I might feel good about “my” self for having done so, I seem to back at square one.
Is this making any sense? I’m not sure. Hahaha
You made me smile, Dylan. Yes I understand you. The LIGHT indeed is the reward, and reward enough for simply being present and here having our human experience. I wrestle with ego and doing things for the good of doing them, and find I’m constantly in similar game as you. I — like you– are simply and miraculously human, so this is to be expected. 🙂 Thanks so much for sharing your thoughtful thoughts.Isn’t it wonderful to be this dilemma?!
I think that doing good for others is a positive. If you feel good about yourself for doing it, it’s just gravy, so long as it doesn’t become that primary reason for your good action. We’re meant to love ourselves, too, and doing good is a reason for that love.
love your affirmation and prayer. i’m so glad I found you and your light!